Attention disorder

I found myself working for 4 hours on a project for work; I was working on the computer until 6 am, just sitting there and typing.

It was very systematic work, I had to make some decision, but it wasn't a very deep job, mostly copying.

It suddenly hit me that I do not have an attention disorder, and cannot use this excuse any longer.

Up to this point I truly held on to the belief that I have a difficulty with sitting and doing work, I always get distracted and cannot sit still and complete an assignment.

Now I realize that I am capable, and all these distraction are resistances to what I am doing. Most of what I do when I encounter this resistance is when I am working on my mind construct, like I cannot sit for more than a few minutes.. I can push myself a bit but I end up just quitting… and justify myself with the belief that I simply have a problem, concentrating is hard for me…

And yes, it is hard, but it is hard through my doing, I have programmed myself through my application to believe I cannot focus for long periods of time, and have created this problem to myself.

I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe I have an attention disorder

I forgive myself that I've allowed myself to believe that I am incapable of sitting and doping work because of my attention disorder

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use as an excuse the belief that I have an attention disorder to not be able to do my assignments

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on sitting and doing my assignments because I believe I have an attention disorder

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the belief of having an attention disorder as a back door to not take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that I am capable of sitting and applying myself when doing some things, which goes to prove I am capable

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see that when I cannot sit and apply myself is a sign of resistance and I interrupt the resistance as an intention disorder

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot sit for long periods of time to study and do work instead of realizing that it is merely resistance of a particular point

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to resist doing my mind construct because I fear what I will find

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear facing my self within self honesty because what if I cannot change

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within the belief that there might be some parts of me that I cannot take self responsibility for

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself because if I don't see what needs to be corrected I don't need to work hard to correct it

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to associate process with "hard work" instead of realizing that it is just an idea, based on polarity of hard/easy

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit the process of self realization that I'm walking as a definition of a hard process in stead of allowing myself to walk myself as life

I lost the momentum – here again the belief that I lost it, like I had something and now it's gone, I cannot benefit from this writing any longer because I have "lost it"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to any distractions as if I cannot come back here, and judge myself for losing attention

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to breathe and return here if and when I allow myself to get distracted

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to breathe and forgive myself for allowing myself to get distracted instead o go in to judgment for "losing it"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe the idea that I need to be consistent within my work, not realizing that I am not allowing myself to become it as a process, step by step

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to believe I "should" be able to work consistently without distractions and when I cannot stand as this idea I accept judgment as punishment

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to embrace myself as life and walk within humbleness as I learn to become more consistent as I walk.

I forgive myself than I have allowed myself to be hard on myself and within being hard on myself not allowing myself to grow and expand

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others walking this process and judge myself as inferior to them

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to assume others do not have distractions and difficulties and then compare myself to the one dimensional idea have of them

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see others as the one dimensional entity as a tool to provide me of the justification of self judgment

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the self judgment as justification of incapability, and thus create a loop

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create loop of judgment as self sabotage, as a back door to not allow myself to change.

Corrective statement:

When I become impatient within myself I stop and breathe,

I allow myself to return here, as one as breath

I stop the judgment and within breath I slow down and continue my work

I slow myself down, as breath

I realize I can only walk one breath at a time, one step at a time

I can change as a process, slowly but surly, as long as I breathe and continue to walk

I am here